On allowing myself to be creative for the hell of it, even if it's not good.
I’m jumping in!
I’ve been noodling around with the idea of a newsletter or blog for the past few years. I miss the days of visiting specific websites and forums before the internet was consolidated to a few social media sites. I miss intentional and manual curation! I also want a creative outlet where I can brain dump whatever’s going on in my head and maybe connect with others along the way so I don’t always unleash all of my ramblings on my husband as soon as he comes home from work.
A bit about me (even though I think the majority of the handful of people who might read this already know me!)
I’m Breanna Ruby. I’m 28 and currently live in St. Louis, Missouri with my husband David and our Great Pyrenees dog Bjorn.
A couple of things/interests:
I’ve been on about a 4 or 5 year very intentional path of trying to slow down (hence the name of this newsletter) and not trying to make everything perfect or extremely efficient through lots of therapy and self-reflection. It’s been a lot of deconstructing capitalism, consumerism and productivity culture and actively recovering from burnout. I think when I tell my therapist about the name of this newsletter, particularly the subheading of this post, she’s going to be like, “of course, Breanna.” We’ve done a lot of work on this hahaha
I love St. Louis so much. I try to convince everyone to move here. At the same time, I’m in the midst of planning a cross-country move to Vermont by the end of Summer this year. We needed a change and I think this is going to be a really positive experience and choice for our family, but I’m going to be sad to leave! There will probably be a lot of musings about this decision in this space.
Hobbies include hiking (we try to find new trails anywhere we travel); long walks around the neighborhood with Bjorn; studying menus and trying new restaurants; cooking elaborate meals at home; planning and hosting intentional gatherings; tarot and astrology for self awareness and creative problem solving; watching a ton of TV (check my watch list organization); making specific mood playlists; reading (check my specific romance book rating system); cozy games (do not ask me how many hours I’ve played Stardew over the last couple of years); and basically any and all cultural analysis/criticism (no such thing as “it’s not that deep” or “just let people enjoy things” in my world).
I’ve spent the past few years learning more about tarot and astrology. I view my practice as just one of many tools to help with self understanding, creative problem solving, and having fun! I believe in the archetypes and the significance of symbolism and storytelling. I also believe in the power of ritual and finding rhythms in life to align to. It helps me feel closer and more connected to nature and the rest of the world! For those who care, I’m a Libra Sun, Leo Moon, and Cancer Rising :)
Thinking about the purpose of this space.
Ultimately this is an outlet for me to experiment and be creative without expectations of being good at it or anyone even reading it. I plan on having maybe 1 reader (hello whoever you are! I appreciate you!) However, I know I enjoy reading everyone else’s personal newsletters so why should I assume no one would want to keep up with me??? (maybe I should unpack that in my next therapy session).
I am also looking for a way to stay connected with friends and family as I move across the country. I’m not on Facebook anymore, and Instagram and other platforms are really good about burying the people you know in favor of filling the feed with endless ads and brands, so it’s nice to have a dedicated space to just exist and share the parts of me I want to share and keep up with others!
I’ve always loved making lists. To do lists, yearly wrap up lists, playlists, bucket lists, etc. My husband and I have made joint seasonal playlists and bucket lists essentially every season we’ve been together since we started dating nearly 8 years ago, and I was doing it on my own before then. I’ve recently gotten into creating vision boards and mood boards for fun. I think of them as visual lists! Below is my 2023 vision board that I’m really proud of. I think intention is powerful and motivating, and I’ve already actualized some of the elements on this board and some of my smaller mood boards, and the more abstract pictures are good reminders for me of the energy I want to bring to my life, and into this newsletter! I don’t need this space to be perfect, I don’t have expectations of it to be a certain way, I’m just ready to have fun! :)
Thanks for reading! I hope to keep up with this weekly, but we’ll see how it goes.
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